The Balance - By Sean Michael Paquet

Hello everyone. One of my fellow writers asked me today why I always say "Blessed be the Balance." That is a very difficult question to answer so perhaps an excerpt from my new Work In Progress titled "The Jarl's Shadow" will lend some insight into part of what the Balance is all about.

“What you have done is nothing to be proud of.” Amra’s eyes opened wide with shock and incomprehension. “Master Shivnr, I did everything you said to do. Everything you taught me! It was so easy.” At this, Shivnr slapped his hand upon the table causing the playing pieces on the board to jump. Amra jumped as well. Shivnr never displayed emotion. Often he was so cold that Amra wondered if he was even human. “There is nothing easy about what you did! You snuffed out two lives! It is nothing to take pride in!” For the first time in as long as she could remember, Amra felt tears welling up in her eyes. What had she done wrong? “If you wish to be proud of something, be proud of the skill you displayed in protecting your father, the Jarl!” Amra sat stock still, not knowing what to say. Shivnr’s demeanor returned to its previously stony expression. “I will explain something to you about myself so that perhaps you will understand.” Shivnr pulled out his dagger and placed it on the table. Next to it, he placed a length of wood that looked like a double-ended spoon. Looking down at the two items he continued, "I do not kill or steal or spy upon the affairs of men because I enjoy doing so. I am what I am because the choices I made in my life drove the hands of Fate to define my path.” Shivnr placed his soot darkened forearms on the table and leaned forward. “I do what I do because the life I have led makes me better than anyone else at such dark happenings. It is not something I am proud of. Just like you, I am an agent of the Balance. We do what we do because there are times that the Balance must be maintained by less than honorable or noble means.” Shivnr took up the dagger. With a swift strike, he brought it down, burying the tip into the tabletop. Removing his hand, the dagger remained perfectly vertical. Upon the tip of the hilt, he placed the double-ended spoon. It swayed slightly on one end, then the other, and then became still. “Imagine that this is the Balance. Every life, every death, every action of man against or for his fellow man, every word or behavior has an effect on the Balance. All that is in our world is part of the Balance.” Shivnr was speaking quietly, and Amra had leaned forward to hear his words clearly. “These are things you have told me before Master. What does that have to do with what I just did, and why you seem so angry with me?” Shivnr was silent for a moment, “you feel no remorse for what you have done?” Amra thought for a moment, “no Master, I did what you taught me and what my father bid of me. Why should I feel remorse?” At her comment, Shivnr smiled slightly. It was the first time she had seen him smile in all the time Amra had been his pupil. “I believe I understand now,” he replied. He lifted his eyes from the table. “Lets put it into perspective, shall we?” Shivnr picked up several round pebbles from the table. Amra had seen him, and his companions use them countless times as wager pieces in their games. Shivnr placed a pebble in each depression of the spoon. Amra saw that it remained in balance. “What has occurred affects the Balance in two different ways.” He placed another pebble at one end. The spoon swayed slightly lower. “You saved your father's life. In doing so, you ensured the continued peace and prosperity of Numitgart.” He added another pebble to the heavier side. “Because you saved your father, you maintained the stability of your family.” He added another pebble. “Because you maintained that family stability, you have ensured the happiness of your mother and your siblings. With me so far?” Amra nodded. “These are all positive things that tip the balance to the side of good. However, we must look at the other side. We must see all of the consequences of our actions.” Amra thought she was beginning to understand. “So I did a good thing for many by just killing two men. I still do not see my error in being proud of doing so.” “Shivnr nodded curtly. “I can see that. I believe it is because you do not perceive both sides of the Balance. For every positive action, a negative must occur for the Balance to be maintained.” Shivnr picked up a handful of pebbles. He dropped two into the empty depression of the double spoon. “Two lives were snuffed out before their allotted time. Untimely death, especially by violent means, causes an upset to the Balance, sort like a ripple in a pond.” He dropped another pebble into the spoon. It began to sway. “A Barony has lost its leader and second in command. Another will need to be chosen. This new leader may be good, or he may not. That is his choice to make that will drive his Fate.” Shivnr added two more pebbles. “Two wives lost their husbands. Two families lost their fathers. If the fathers and mothers of those two men still live, then they have lost their sons.” Amra looked at the double spoon; it was again balanced. “I see that my actions have caused the Balance to be maintained.” Shivnr shook his head slightly. “To the casual observer perhaps. Remember that all things affect the Balance.” He added another pebble, and the spoon dipped again. “That pebble is the anguish of two wives. How would your mother deal with the loss of your father?” He added another, and the spoon dipped further. “The tears of sons and daughters who will never know their fathers embrace again. How would it feel to you if your father had died this night, and you could have done nothing to save him?” He added another pebble. “Imagine the pain a mother and father would feel to lose a son or daughter before his or her allotted time. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. That pain in itself brings catastrophic ripples to the Balance.” Shivnr added the last pebble, and the spoon weighed heavily to one side. “Finally, what of the future that was cut off from these two men? Perhaps Fate would have seen fit for them to have more children who, in their turn, could have brought their own ripples to the Balance? How would you feel if your father had died and your baby brother Jon had never been born?” Shivnr sat back in his chair and regarded Amra. “Yes. You did the right thing. You followed the orders of the Jarl, and you performed as you have been trained. You should be commended for that, and I do commend you.” He again leaned forward. “However, remember this. Never be proud of killing someone. Every life lost before its allotted time weighs heavily towards the dark side of the Balance. Sometimes there is no other choice as tonight showed you. Sometimes we do what we have to do to protect the light side of the Balance. That is why we are what we are. We are the agents of the Balance, and our responsibility is grave indeed.” Shivnr stood. “You will kill again. That is part of you now. When you do, you will not think of this conversation. You will simply do it because you are the Jarl’s Shadow.” Shivnr turned towards the fireplace, and Amra was astounded to see tears cutting lines down his soot-covered face. “You will do so because you have to,” he said quietly. He looked back at her. “Never be proud to do so. Do it and get it done, but always remember this conversation afterward. If you fail to remember it, then you are in danger of losing what makes you human. Do you understand?”