Writing Sex and Romance Scenes in Your Story - By Sean Michael Paquet

SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX!!!!

Now that I have everyone's attention let us proceed.
Writing sex scenes and romance scenes in books is difficult. Why? Probably because there is a great deal of social and cultural bias that still causes such things to be frowned upon. Furthermore, it can be challenging to know precisely how far to go with your descriptors (if you know what I mean). For me, it depends on the genre. In some genres, such things are essential for story progression, or to establish chemistry or emotional connection between characters. If an author can pull off something tasteful while still maintaining the integrity of the story, I am impressed. I often refer to Jean Auel, author of the Earth's Children series. Lots of sex? Sure! However, the scenes are so well done that it never takes away from the story. Nor do her scenes come across as cheap and degrading.
That's the key; unless you are an exclusive Smut Writer (yes, that is exactly what they refer to themselves as). There is no need for lurid or excessive detail. I often look at sex and romance scenes in the same way I look at a lingerie or similar coverings. What you do not see (or read) is often more alluring than just throwing it out there for everyone to see or read about.
I guess in that way I am somewhat old fashioned. I grew up with a healthy respect for women, and I admire their strength and beauty both inside and outside. However, in my writing, I keep such things as romance or sex on the down-low. I would instead portray a beginning romance or chemistry between characters, in the same way I was raised…as a gentlemen. In short, what goes on in private, stays in private. Does my writing have a romance in it? Yes, of course it does! After collaboration with my Chief Editor, it seemed appropriate to do so, given the direction of the story-line. Did I make a big deal about it? Nope. No need. You, as the reader, are more than capable of connecting the dots and figuring out what's going on. I never saw a need to get all hot and steamy with it. In my genre, I think such things do detract from the story.
So in closing, if you think your book needs it, then write it. If you feel it needs to be smutty to make your story work, then by all means, sex it up. Just remember that sex and romance in a story should function to propel the story forward not to make the reader all hot and bothered. There are numerous other outlets in literature and media for such things.